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As a working mom of four, you may think that I have it all together. Nothing could be further than the truth… the reality is that behind the pretty Instagram pictures and food dishes, there is a whole lot of stuff that I don't do. I don't do these things because in order to say yes to them, I have to say no to something else.
When I first started blogging six years ago, I really tried to do it all. Clean house, perfect dinner, amazing blog posts, well dressed kids, and exhaustion to come with it. I realized a few years ago that I had SO much pressure that was self-inflicted, and in order to stay sane and be a good wife and mom, I needed to stop doing several things.
After a lot of thought, prayer, and consideration, I decided to stop doing these 5 things:
1.) I do not deep clean my house
I hear a sigh of relief come across the computer screen… That is right, I do NOT clean my house. Yes, I do the normal daily pick up around the house with the kiddos, but I do not deep clean my house. I have a cleaning lady, and she comes every Friday from 9am- 1 pm. She deep cleans my entire house, and when I get home from the office on Friday it is an AMAZING feeling.
At first I felt guilty having a cleaning lady, but I realized that it was causing me so much stress. And that led to a stressed-out mom and wife, and unproductive work. This was the first thing I gave up, and MAN does it feel good!
2.) I do not make dinner
Okay, before you go crazy on me and say “But you create these amazing meal plans for us.” Let me explain…
I assemble my own meal plans and freeze them (you can find those here). I then take something out of the freezer and put it in the slow cooker in the morning… BAM -> Dinner is D.O.N.E. No more 5pm dinner stress. The days when I do not do this, I hate my day and as the clock ticks closer to 5pm, I get even more stressed.
And do you want to know an even better secret? Mark does almost all of the cooking in the house now that he quit his job a few years ago. He also puts together our meal plans – he really is AMAZING!
3.) I do not do the dishes
Do you have that one chore that you absolutely HATE? For me, it's the dishes. Mark has taken over this chore in the kitchen, and the kids help him after dinner. I mainly tidy up the living room and dining room, and he tackles the kitchen. Can I get an AMEN!
4.) I do not volunteer
This one is a hard one for me… I feel like I ‘should' volunteer because that is the right thing to do. I do volunteer in my church every few weeks in church nursery, but other than that I say no. In the book “The Best Yes” by Lysa Terkeurst, she talks about making every yes your BEST YES. And I love this quote from the book:
“We must not confuse the command to love with the command to please. The Best Yes is the Yes that means you are playing YOUR role, not someone else.”
I had to realize that every time I said yes to volunteering, it meant that I said no to extra time with my kids. At this point in my life, I choose my kids. There will be time to volunteer when they are older.
My kids go to a private Christian school, and volunteering is part of sending your kids there. My husband is on the school board and when they have school work days we help out. That covers our volunteer hours, and I feel good about doing this.
5.) I do not attend at-home parties
If you invite me to your Pampered Chef, Jamberry, Thirty-One, or any other home-based business party, I will not come. There is a 100% chance I will say no. Why?
I am a Recovering Spender, and my experience with home-based businesses is part of my new book called “The Recovering Spender”. If I go to one of those parties, I always spend money that I don't have on things that I don't really need. I don't like feeling pressure that I must buy something; so I don't go. Yes, I know it's ‘girl time', but I would rather go out and grab coffee to have my girl time.
If you want to read my latest book, it comes out in September but you can pre-order it here.
So that's my list of things I don't do. This doesn't mean that they are things that YOU shouldn't do. We are all different. And if you're a mom, you're running around like a crazy person jut like me. And we can't be all things to all people… so you've got to just have your list of things that you always say “no” to.
As moms, there is so much pressure as to what we should or shouldn't be doing. But let's agree that we all know what is best for us and our families.
So – let's cut it out and share…..What are some of the things that you don't do?